Meet MAGAt, J6 insurrectionist, and tactical genius and unwavering patriot Kenneth Harrelson.
Nothing screams “defending the Constitution” quite like marching up the Capitol steps in a rigid, military-style “stack” formation like a budget G.I. Joe. Because nothing protects American democracy like playing dress-up in tactical gear with your anti-government militia buddies.
As a proud “ground team lead” for the Oath Keepers, Harrelson really showed off his master strategy. His grand contribution inside the Capitol Rotunda? Screaming “Treason!” at the top of his lungs. The irony, of course, was completely lost on him.
And let’s talk about the incredible restraint regarding weapons. While Harrelson didn’t technically carry firearms inside the building—because even “patriots” have to respect basic D.C. gun laws when they’re busy obstructing Congress—he and his group made sure to stash a literal arsenal of firearms, including AR-15s and massive piles of ammunition, safely across state lines in a Virginia Comfort Inn. You know, just a casual “Quick Reaction Force” weapon cache in case their peaceful tourist visit required an armed rebellion.
Naturally, the deep state just couldn’t appreciate his service. Instead of a medal, he got slapped with a lovely collection of felony charges, including obstructing an official proceeding and tampering with evidence. While he managed to dodge the seditious conspiracy charge, the judge still treated his actions with the exact flavor of “terrorism” enhancement they deserved. Now, our brave ground leader gets to spend four years in federal prison reflecting on his flawless tactical legacy. Thank you for your service, Ken.
